I’m starting this essay without a title. It’s unusual for me - something I’ve learnt to do in journaling. With blog posts, I usually choose the title first.
The question I think you’re most curious about is how my sabbatical is going. What is it like to take a break and do… nothing?
Well, I’m not doing nothing. Attempting to pull out the rug was disorienting. But I’m doing much less and…
I’m reconnecting with myself
I’ve been talking to friends and family every day. Multiple times every day. When I think of someone, I call them to catch up. When I start to get in my head, I call someone to gist. I’m making new friends too.
I know a lot of people who do this normally, but historically my world has been very quiet. I operated on a “low information diet”, as Princess puts it.
I’m learning so much about myself by embracing others: who I am, who I want to be. I’ve scattered myself across so many people and scenes, and now it feels like I’m picking up the pieces. Kintsugi. Ah, there’s my title.
I’m travelling
Recently, I was in New York, Barcelona and Aruba.
New York is a really inspiring place and I hope to spend more time there. Compared to London, it feels so full of promise. Unfinished.
We lived in Park Slope, at a friend’s apartment. Walked 10k steps every day. Saw Show Dem Camp in concert. MoMA PS1. Hamilton on Broadway. I had lunch with a new-dad tech investor and coffee with a lovely studio director. I went to a house party with a bunch of really quirky folks and partied with new friends.
New York left me with a longing. Barcelona was a quick but memorable stop. And Aruba was a warm cocooning with people I now consider family.
I’m building new habits
Working out: I no longer hate the gym. Thanks to Dan (my trainer), Princess, and Feyi (my sister), I now go 1 - 3 times a week. I have a clear incentive (mobility in old age) and I hope to never stop, or at least for too long.
Cooking: My answer to “do you know how to cook” is now a resounding yes! I make very good eggs and meat, and I trust myself to deviate from a recipe. It’s crazy how much of a difference this makes to the experience.
Journaling: I’ve been writing more to myself.
Also,
I unsubscribed from all my newsletters. This has significantly reduced my information overload.
I’m working through a list of iconic films I got from my friend Seun. The first one we watched was Ousmane Sembene’s Black Girl.
I just finished reading Color Stories, a book about the beauty industry.
I also really enjoyed the Shotgun Seamstress book, a collection of essays and stories about the Black Punk scene.
I’ve been working a little
Yes yes…
Mostly, I’ve been working on the Main Squeeze website with the team. It’s been a month of having the designers on, and we’re only just getting into a rhythm.
We’ve also been branding Independent Arts to close out wuruwuru season 2. And I’ve been supporting friends (and their startups) with strategy and advice.
Finally, I’ve been dreaming
I was talking to Fu’ad the other day about something he describes as a “maker complex” - a compulsive need to make things.
I think my complex is rooted in a desire to make life easier - for myself and for others. Making is an existential need for me. If I was alone, stranded on an island, I would make tools. It’s not always work, even when it looks like it.
In two weeks, my Moonlight responsibilities should slow down to a pulse. I’m going to take up swimming, and maybe add in some personal study.
Broadly I’m focused on building connections, maintaining a sustainable routine, and calming my mind. Happy survival.